Family Talk Night Light for Parents

The Time Challenge

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen…? Not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” Isaiah 58:6–7

Setting aside time for the kids is a challenge for any family, but it’s doubly so when Mom and Dad are divorced. Yet if you are willing to make a few sacrifices, your kids will benefit significantly.

We know of a divorced mother and father who have rearranged their professional lives so that each can spend substantial parts of their week with Zach, their four-year-old son. John, a former golf instructor, gave up his job at the clubhouse because it filled up his weekends. Now he takes care of Zach on Saturdays and Sundays, then leaves him with Zach’s mother, Stephanie, each weekday morning. John works during the day at his new job as a sales associate while Stephanie spends that time with Zach. Then Stephanie, who arranged to work the night shift in her job as a nurse, leaves Zach with John for the evening and overnight. The result is that Zach feels loved and cared for by both of his parents.

Establishing complementary schedules with your ex-spouse will not always be easy, or even possible. Yet after the pain and uncertainty that inevitably follow a family breakup, your child needs you more than ever. Phone calls and gifts won’t substitute for what your child wants most from you—a mom or dad who is there every moment possible.

Before you say good night…

How do your kids respond when you give them one-on-one time?

If you are divorced, how do you think your kids feel about the breakup of your family? What can you do to help them?

Lord, we read these words and wonder how we will accomplish these things. Without You, we can never be the parents we want and need to be. Have mercy on us, and fill us with Your grace and wisdom—and staying power! Amen.

• From Night Light For Parents, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
  Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.